Dying..

for a smoke.

18 January 2009 11:00am cat - Stopped smoking today.

Yesterday morning at about 11am I ran out of cigarettes. So I grabbed my helmet and jumped on the bike, but just before reaching the gate I realized I had forgotten my bank card. Back in the house I searched high and low, but couldn't find it. I remembered then that It was lying on my desk at work.

You cannot imagine what angst went through my mind. I've been a smoker for 27years and the thought of going without a cigarette till Monday morning was impossible to comprehend. I racked my brain, even considered making a sigarette from the loose butts in the ashtray(if you're not a smoker, you cannot understand addiction).

Then an idea struck me; I'd just phone B down the road, explain my situation and ask her to buy me smokes till I can replace them on Monday, which I promptly did(phone, that is). B said that she was parked in by guests at that moment, but would get to it soon enough. Eventually I phoned her again, but she said she had to go somewhere else first. I told her to leave it.

By that time a weird thought had entered my mind; what if I stopped right now? It was late afternoon, and I had already stopped for longer than I had ever before, whilst not sleeping.

It is now Monday morning and I still haven't smoked. The fact that cigarettes are easily available here in the office is not helping, nor the fact that our cleaning lady sells loose cigarettes and keeps a lighter handy for a quick light-up.

To those of you who know what I'm going through, wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.