Dear Mr.Leon

You remind me a lot of my girlfriend's daughter. I have to tell her about five times a night to be quiet while I'm watching the news. It's as if she can't hear me, and I've even thought about taking her for a checkup to see if maybe her ears are blocked.

Unless the ANC are discovered to be Aliens from ZIRXIF and eat babies, you must realise that you will never have the majority vote. Your calls to 'disband' smaller parties in favour of larger more influentual parties, like yours, is merely another attempt to boost your inflated ego even more.


However, I am willing to give you my vote in return for a small but very important favour. It is a favour which will change my life, and perhaps even make a few thousand other people's lives better as well. Do not take this request lightly. Should you grant me my favour, I can guarentee you at least another 20 votes as well. I happen to know a small group of people whom are easily swayed in whatever direction I may choose for them to vote.

I ask of you the following favour:

Every morning when I drop my girlfriend off at work, there's this big mamma (Huge) who has a food stall in Robertsville. It looks like a miniature KFC branch. All red and white, with a large white table in front of it with various fruits and goodies arranged on it. It is very difficult to see past Mamma's Place and check for oncoming traffic. This forces me to move into the T-junction in order that I may see if there is traffic approaching. I've had a few near-misses in the past, and I even say a little prayer when I approach the intersection. Can you believe it? Well, I thought maybe you could come around and use a little gentle persuasion to convince her to move to Krugersdorp, or somewhere else that's also nice. I suggest asking your 'heavies' to accompany you, just in case you need to move her, but that's entirely up to you.

Her absence will put me in a wonderful mood, and then I don't have to take my displeasure out on the rest of the traffic on the way to work. Do you see how my mood can influence a few thousand people on the road? If I piss just two people off in traffic and they piss off another two.. I'm sure you get the picture. Kind of like the 'Butterfly Effect'.

By the way, I might need two papsakke to sway the other 20 people I mentioned earlier. You don't have to worry about going out on a limb for them. They're quite happy as they are. They sleep outdoors in our local park. When they need a number one, they just use the stream, and a number two is a small walk to the nearest Willow tree, which are so beautiful and green this time of year. Don't you think?

I thank you in advance. And good luck with the elections.

Yours Sincerely
Warrior Dog