Dick of the Decade

Leon 'Poester' Schuster

I've wanted to write about this fucker for some time now, but something always comes up. And now that I see he's got a new movie out, I feel I'm motivated enough to tell you what an absolute cunt he is.

I'm not saying one shouldn't occasionally laugh for absolutely no fuckin reason, but my funny bone is only prepaired to stretch so far when it comes to this cunt's movies.

I enjoyed Jamie Uys' Beautiful People and maybe God's must be Crazy made me laugh, but Leon's attempt at slapstick is so far off the mark, I can't get myself to laugh at the crap. His movies are so schoolboy-ishly contrived it makes my bile rise. Now, you're gonna tell me that all the fuckin people in his movies, have no fuckin idea it's Leon dressed as an Arab here, dressed as a black man there. For fuck sakes! Even I could tell it was the fucker posing as a woman in one of his movies.

What also fucks me, is his total alloofness when he's interviewed. If you weren't wise to the fucker, you'd think he was a bloody Spielberg or something. Christ, I get so livered when people want to tell me about the 'Funny' bits in his latest movie. There are no fuckin funny bits, assholes. It's all situation-based. There's no true comedial acting. You can have anyone slipping on that banana peel, and it would be funny. Okay, maybe funny to his followers.
I wouldn't hesitate to make a Schuster-type movie to the liking of the millions of fucknuts in South Africa. A dozen banana peels here, some farting over there, and over zealous attempts at clowning everywhere. I'll take your money like I was God or something.

And go fuck yourself if you think South African movies are good. They fuckin suck! The Editors have no fuckin idea about continuity, and our actors 'ACT' too much. Yes, in case you're not aware, a truly brilliant actor doesn't act. He or she 'becomes' the person or 'character' they are potraying. If you're doing Shakespeare, there's exagerated posturing and over dramatisation, because Shakespeare's works are meant for live theatre.
South African actors are under the impression that this dramatisation is necessary in Film as well, and the better they become at it, the better actors art' they. The chances of a South Africa emulating Charlize Theeren, and making it in Hollywood is as slim as someone Butt fucking me at a Gay festival.

Films that turned out more than reasonable in this country were mostly directed by foreign Directors, and had foreign proffesionals working in key positions.

During the nineties, I was doing catering in the SA film industry, and had the displeasure of meeting Leon Schuster. He's a doos, and all his interested in is taking your fuckin money. For that and only that do I take my hat off to him. He knows how to milk your wallets.

On a blog hosted by Mweb, someone made a list of movies he wanted to take his girlfriend to for Valentines. He invited people to comment on his blog as to which movie they would suggest for the evening. Big Mommas House 2, was on that list. Need I say any more about the taste of some of you fuckers out there. For as long as you eagerly await Leon's movies, he will keep turning out the shit.

Fuck off you useless excuse for a film maker.

Please feel free to comment your view on this fucknut.